does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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