Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
