i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
