dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
