this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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