she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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