**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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