i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
