Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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