So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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