planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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