It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize