If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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