Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
