i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize