Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
