bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
