She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You're like the curious george of whores
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize