Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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