i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize