I wish my penis had an off switch
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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