I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Damn victory sex feels great
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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