i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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