WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
