Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
