i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
