then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
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You are the jesus of drinking
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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