; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
