he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
