I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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