i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
