I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
