dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize