She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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