Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
