I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.