New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
