I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
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make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions