yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.