So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
