I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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