He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
