I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize