Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
