She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
