Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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