i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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