Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
People in love make me want to vomit
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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