Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My pussy is not your playground.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
