What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
