Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think my fart just growled at me.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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