ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
