Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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