Just cropdusted the office
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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