That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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