Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
