I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
