I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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