This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
