also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
