Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
