I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
