We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
