either way he was missing a nipple.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
