Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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