Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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