loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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